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Few people lived in the district. The original hardwood forests were felled for furniture manufacture and flooring and were never replanted and had failed to re-established naturally because the land-use had been gradually converted to cattle grazing.
Claire was a novelist and husband Tony was a lazy sod with an investment income. Claire preferred to write in near isolation and Tony was content to be house-husband and cook and clean their house and the nearby abandoned lighthouse that had been included in the 5-acre property they’d purchased seven years go.
Eighteen months ago the couple had jointly paid for the complete restoration of the lighthouse with Claire believing it would attract families on holiday who sought peace from the city in splendid isolation.
That idea failed. In eight months they attracted just one booking who turned out to be a complaining/fighting couple who were amid a doomed attempt at marital reconciliation.
“That’s money down the drain with that restoration,” Claire sighed. “I really could have done better things with that money.”
Tony said generously, “I’ll give you your half of the $21,700 we spent on the upgrade in return for you giving me total control of the lighthouse and all of any income I derive from hiring it out.”
“Okay,” Claire said. “Hand me the cheque and the building is yours. What will you do with it?”
“Hire it out as a brothel,” Tony said imaginatively.
“Where would the clients come from?” she asked.
Tony scratched behind an ear and said, “Dunno.”
A day later Claire went to the nearest town 48 km away to bank her cheque, leaving Tony thinking how to profit from his 100% acquisition.
Claire returned home with provisions for a week and a women’s fashion magazine and a home and garden magazine to keep up to date for settings in writing the paperback romances she churned out. Tony flicked through one of the magazines looking for lingerie ads, being a tit and bum guy and came across a small advertisement of an Australian farming couple who hired out their converted barn for ‘rustic weddings in the country’. What a great idea he thought and immediately switched on to the logical progression of rustic honeymoons in a lighthouse.
He yawned and told Claire about his idea of promoting the lighthouse tower for rustic honeymoons in the country.
She yawned and said what utter rubbish.
Although it was only 11 am Claire said she was going to bed for rest to get her creative juices fired up.
“Follow me if you want sex.”
Thinking he had nothing better to do, Tony followed her, looking with some interest at his wife’s swaying ass a few yards ahead of him.
* * *
Two honeymooning couples arrived over four weeks, attracted by the romantic idea of spending part of their honeymoon in a ‘remote and rustic renovated lighthouse’.
“See, I told you your stupid concept would fail,” Claire said unsympathetically, glad she hadn’t wasted money on Tony’s brain blow-out.
Two days after that second sated couple had left, Tony received a call from a writer on the staff of one of Claire’s magazines in which he’d placed a regular advertisement to promote rustic honeymoons.
Tony was excited but had to wait another 90 minutes before Claire completed her stint in complete isolation working on her latest pot-boiler before he was permitted to talk to her.
“God are you looking for sex again?” she asked half-interested, noticing his flushed face.
“A writer and photographer from Elite Home & Garden magazine arrive in the morning to do a spread of my honeymoon venue.”
“Are you sure? That’s one of this country’s top mags and circulates widely in Australia. There must be a mistake.”
“Nah, the writer Lily somebody said her sister has just arrived home from her honeymoon in raptures about the rustic lighthouse honeymoon venue.”
“Omigod how wonderful. I suppose you fed her untruths about how successful your business is?”
“No to the contrary, I told her it had been a disaster with only two couples in the month it had been opened for business and that seemed to excite her and she said something about the need to pull the trigger.”
“What, you excited a woman?”
“I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“Oh never mind. Well after you serve lunch and clear away you better spend the afternoon over at the lighthouse getting it spotless and... oh damn, there’s my phone.”
Claire returned looking a little dazed and said, “That was my publisher. They want me in Wellington by 3:00 tomorrow to prepare for being interview during the evening News on national TV. Sales in America of my satirical paperback Charlotte Prefers Masturbation have really taken off and a New York filmmaker has commenced negotiations to acquire film rights. You’ll have to talk to those magazine people yourself if you can’t delay them.”
“No it will be fine. I can drive you to Auckland Airport if…”
“I’ll be fine thanks. You just make sure you shave and dress in your best in the morning.”
Claire, highly excited, drove off next morning at 6:00 to arrive at Auckland Airport in time for her booked flight at 9:00.
* * *
Tony remembered to shave and in the absence of his wife conservative standards, he dressed in well-worn although clean light blue denim shorts and a new orange sleeveless top that showed off his muscular biceps.
A lone female with wavy chestnut hair arrived in a SUV with the magazine’s name across the doors and smiled and said, “Hi Mr Livingston, I’m Lily Sullivan. Since you have retired from the business world, I’d expected you to be older.”
“Nah, call me Tony Lily. I’m now forty-three and made my money from twenty years earlier running a small advertising agency that became a pioneer in the development of animated computer graphics in TV advertising. I retired seven years ago and sold the agency when I experienced the first signs of entrepreneurial burn-out. Where’s the photographer?”
“She was pulled for an urgent assignment and will arrive early this afternoon. You’ll need to dress better for the photographs. Meanwhile I can do my job.”
“Great so let’s start with coffee. My wife had gone urgently to Wellington but that’s okay because the lighthouse is my baby.”
“Your baby?”
“My centre of interest. My wife handed it over to me when she lost interest because we failed to attract families wanting to holiday remotely in unusual accommodation.”
“But if you were in advertising you ought to understand the value of expensive promotion?”
“My total focus had been on computer graphics.”
“I see and do you remain big into computer usage?”
“Nah I mainly read emails and look at porn.”
Lily giggled and said she better not quote him on that and he said thanks and noticed her run a hand lightly across her left breast while looking at him intently.
“Are you married Lily?”
She said without guilt, “Yes and with two children at primary school.”
“I’ll get the coffee, sit on the terrace if you wish and view the sea.”
“And the lighthouse.”
“Oh yes.”
Tony returned with coffee and noticed Lily had pulled up her skirt to just above her knees.
“If you wish to get sun on your legs pull your skirt right up or even take it off. I won’t get excited.”
She just pulled her skirt very high and said she’d assumed he’d notice she had shapely legs.
“Yeah I noticed.”
“And I saw you staring at my breasts.”
Tony grinned, “Yeah and you have other shapely parts but isn’t this supposed to be an interview about the rustic lighthouse owner’s absentee honeymooners?”
“Oh yes, I suppose it is. I became carried away.”
An intense interview following with Tony aware this now highly professional journalist was sawing, slicing and sieving him, er verbally, to mine for colourful quotes and anecdotes as well as facts. He fixed his gaze above her shoulders to avoid being distracted to reward her with answers with substance to her barrage of questions.
Towards the end of the formal interview, he tired of racking his flash memory to come up with what he expected an interviewer would want to hear and lapsed into becoming frivolous. For example:
“Do you enjoy presenting a honeymoon Eldorado for couples?”
“Isn’t El Dorado a fictitious place in history? I’ve worked hard and expensively in trying to present this venue perfectly but as you might imagine, in attracting only two couples in my first month of operation as a wedding venue I have not been exactly overwhelmed with feedback.”
“Why don’t more honeymooners come here?”
“Because more needs to be done via advertising and obviously word of mouth to focus potential honeymooners, even when one or both partners already have a marriage and honeymoon from a previous time under their belt. If your magazine were to publish this proposed article about Alton Lighthouse Honeymoons then it would be a ripper of a way to stimulate bookings.”
“Why would we want to promote a remote place like this that appears to have missed the bus commercially?”
“Perhaps you might have a theory on that.”
“No you planned this as an expensive and exclusive honeymoon venue. I want your thinking.”
“Well Lily, promise not to laugh. I walked out of the house one evening with my old Walkman playing Blue Hawaii and I looked across to the lighthouse in the fading sunset and saw the white exterior of the tower had taken on a surreal blue tinge and yet it had been a pink and yellow sunset. I smiled and said aloud, “The angels are trying to tell me something.”
“Omigod.”
“I’m not religious but I like to think there are angels watching over us. After Elvis finished with Hawaii on my Walkman, the next song was even older, Hank Williams singing Wedding Bells and I thought the renovated lighthouse tower would be a great place for a honeymoon and so the idea developed. There are three honeymoon bedroom suites separated by private lounges and with the communal dining room and kitchen at the top the tower where the service room below the lamp room used to be. Fresh food as ordered from menus will be supplied each morning to the fridges in the lounge of each occupied suite and that food can be eaten and served separately or combined with one or both other couples in residence and if desired a competent cook can be hired to cook for one, two, or three couples as required.”
“All of that sounds very efficient and offering full service.
“Well that’s the operational side Lily and I’ll give you a copy of our brochure that contains rates and states the minimum stay is two nights. Come and I’ll explain and point out physical things that make our venue unique in this country.”
By the time they’d looked around outside at the harbour, the rocks below the ocean beach to their left and then entered the tower, Tony was half certain that Lily might take the hook if it were slung her way (colloquialism for hit on her and test your luck).
“Oooh darling, don’t stop there but first let’s get inside to the bed.”
Lily’s breath was taken away, not by Tony’s hard grip on her ass but because of the opulence of the room, fitted out lavishly to look a little like a royal room in a castle.
“Omigod, I’m about to cum just be looking at this incredible room. Take me Tony.”
Tony guessed she didn’t mean take her to the next room and so he removed the satin bed spread before ‘taking her’.
And very nice it was too,
She had a tight pussy and he had a thick, pulsating dick and that proved to be an ideal match. Lily kept trying to jam a breast down his throat while bucking to crash against Tony’s incoming thrusts.
God the young princess (she looked to be thirty to thirty-two) had piled up a lot of experience from somewhere, he thought. Smiling he remembered saying in disbelieve earlier that he’d come without condoms and she’d giggled and threw her handbag at him and said, “Take your pick; there’s a variety in there.”
After that round, they went to the top floor.
“Omigod what glorious views and what a wonderful room this is.”
“Yeah the room was in rough shape, with anything of value removed, when we brought the property,” Tony said. “I had the attached keeper’s house that had been rebuilt in the 1960s moved right back and that’s now our house, and had the other outbuildings demolished and the debris removed. The lantern housed in the room above us was long and so I had that floor removed and the sides remodelled to allow natural light from the glasswork of the dome to flood down here,”
“It’s wonderful,” Lily purred. “Please fuck me on this beautiful heavy oak table.”
“What now?”
“Yes or sooner if you can manage that.”
The photographer, a lined-faced woman with big breasts and aged about forty, arrived late and took a huge number of photos. She then wish to stay to get for a shot at sunset and the best one showed the tower coloured apricot and then the sunset faded.
She began to pack up but Tony said to wait a few minutes and the wait was worthwhile. The photographer delightedly took shots that showed the tower with a blue cast and she said she could enhance the colour of the digital imagine on her computer (that photo now hangs in the photo section at the National Gallery with a copy in Claire and Tony’s home lounge).
Tony forgot to watch the TV interview of his wife because at that time, with a lamb roast in the oven, he, Lily and Paula the photographer were deep into a threesome over at the tower.
Update
Today Alton Lighthouse Honeymoons is a very successful business that is widely acknowledge as offering one of the top honeymoon venues in New Zealand and Australia.
After publication of Lily and Paula’s magnificent magazine spread of ‘Alton Lighthouse’s New 21st Century Role’ other news teams including TV crews came, saw and were conquered.
Tony came up which a new small format advert that slotted into many magazines and top newspapers. It won a national advertising award and never changes because it’s such a classic. Wording below the blue tinged nightfall exterior of the tower reads:
If you plan to
honeymoon only once do it in style in sophistication in splendid
isolation at rustic Alton Lighthouse north of Auckland. Details at
altonlighthouse.com.
Some weddings now hinge on the date when the affluent bride and groom can book into rustic Alton Lighthouse.Thanks!
